Four things are important right now. The funny thing is that all of them are studies. My hairs growing out. I’m collapsing into myself slowly. I’m separating myself from you. You are what slows me down. You are not a single person. You are a whole. Don’t get me wrong.¬†I love you.¬†I am a very compassionate person, but in order to understand you as thoroughly as possible,¬†I need to study you, so that’s what I’m doing.

My top priority is my physics studies.¬†I love reading.¬†I just got back from half price books.¬†I saw two books that really sparked my attention. Relativity by Albert Einstein. I’ve been wanting to read it for quite some time now. I’d really like to get some more insight on what was going on in that head of his that amazes me so much. Also, there was a book called Faster than the Speed of Light, which is basically a book of considerations against relativity. So, that’s even more insight. What¬†I love about Einstein was that the first thing in the book that he talks about is that we should know which¬†ideas to believe and which ideas¬†to consider true.

The next priority is school. Not just my classes, but just the school environment in general and the work‚Ķ the teachers, the students, the activities, etc.¬†I love being involved with the school.¬†I enjoy all of my classes. The homework really annoys me sometimes, but I’m starting to get over it. The play is going really smoothly. I’ve been doing a great job and¬†I like that¬†I can make a difference. You guys should all go to see the odd couple! It’s going to be great! I’m on props team and I’m doing sound!¬†I also love building friendships with the teachers. All of them are such good people in so many ways and¬†I have a lot to learn from them.

The next two priorities are kind of combined. One is my thoughts on the world. The world being people and the connections between them. And the second being what I’m writing about it all. Writing on a topic of this generality is tough. I’m starting to organize my ideas, though. It’s going to be baby steps and I’m guessing it will be years before¬†I finish, so I’m going to stop talking about it to people. That’s another thing that I’m starting to get over. Letting everything out. Telling people what I’m thinking. There’s a time and place for that and¬†I need to learn it. That kind of leads me to my other priority (or more of a goal) right now which sums about all of it up.

All of these are very connected. I’m making great progress. College is going to accelerate me towards my initiation into the life that¬†I want to live.¬†I want to learn about people and understand them. Not through classes. It’s been said by many geniuses¬†that classes will dull your mind. This statement is incomplete. Classes will dull your mind, if and only if you soak in the information as fact and nothing more. You need to take it in and be creative with the ideas. You need to be able to think beyond what you’re learning and apply what you’re learning so that you can make a living.¬†I want my knowledge of the physicalities of the universe to unify with my knowledge of people.

Before¬†I get married, before¬†I have kids, before I’m ready to settle down and get a real world job,¬†I want to understand why¬†I should do all of these things.¬†I truly believe¬†I will be there one day. My idea of God is slowly soaking in. My idea of the universe is slowly sinking in. And my idea of people is slowly sinking in. Once these all connect,¬†I will know what needs to be done. That’s where your life is.¬†I want to live it to its fullest through all of this.¬†I like to hope everyone around me does, as well. But no one likes to think nearly as much as¬†I do.

So… I’m left alone. In a head of thick hair. Where no one really knows what’s going on inside of all of it. They all have an idea from different perspectives. But nobody understands the networking between everything.

On a lighter note, yesterday, I read about techniques for recording acoustic guitars. I decided to practice it in Hey Ya. I rerecorded it. I left the old one up so that you guys can see the difference.

I was given the book Night sophomore year and I never really finished it, I picked it up last week and read it. It’s a nice short read, but it’s very depressing.

It’s about a twelve year old Jewish boy that lived in Poland I think and the beginning is pretty normal life and it shows how fast everything changed. The German officers rushed into their town and put all the Jews in the ghetto, but still seeming friendly and it eventually leads to them being expelled from the city onto trains and out to Auschwitz. In the camp, he and his father get separated from the mother and his sister: which is the last time he sees his mother and sister. His dad eventually gets killed, but he somehow makes it out alive.

After the book there is a section called connections that has a bunch of poems, short stories, and things like that that show what was happening in their heads. Some of the poems don’t even talk about death, but they are the prisoners begging to be taken to God. One of the short stories talked about the author’s experience on krystalnacht (I don’t know how to spell that). It shows again how fast everything changed in one night. Some of them talk about the train rides and some talk about facing death and seeing it right before them and being split from their families. The connections was pretty much a pile up of little stories that go more in depth than that certain part did in the book. I read a little over half of them and I’m going to finish the rest tomorrow.

This book is really sad. I know there are a lot of sad ones out there, but this one really jerks at my emotions. I had relatives that¬†survived Auschwitz and I can’t even begin to imagine how scary it would have been.

Today, I finished Dry. The end was incredible. The last three or four chapters are amazing. Of course, it ends happily, but more happily than you could imagine. I can definitely see why he’s a best seller author now (Augusten Burroughs). I’ll probably read his other bestseller Running with Scissors eventually.¬†Dry was a lot like The Catcher in the Rye in that the book just gets worse and worse and more and more downhill until he’s at rock bottom, if not, past it… and then in almost no time everything has shot way up.

Dad, you’d probably love his books. He’s in advertising and he works for an advertising agency in New York. He’s written a¬†couple of books about it such as Magical Thinking and Sellevision that you’d probably like.