Four things are important right now. The funny thing is that all of them are studies. My hairs growing out. I’m collapsing into myself slowly. I’m separating myself from you. You are what slows me down. You are not a single person. You are a whole. Don’t get me wrong.¬†I love you.¬†I am a very compassionate person, but in order to understand you as thoroughly as possible,¬†I need to study you, so that’s what I’m doing.

My top priority is my physics studies.¬†I love reading.¬†I just got back from half price books.¬†I saw two books that really sparked my attention. Relativity by Albert Einstein. I’ve been wanting to read it for quite some time now. I’d really like to get some more insight on what was going on in that head of his that amazes me so much. Also, there was a book called Faster than the Speed of Light, which is basically a book of considerations against relativity. So, that’s even more insight. What¬†I love about Einstein was that the first thing in the book that he talks about is that we should know which¬†ideas to believe and which ideas¬†to consider true.

The next priority is school. Not just my classes, but just the school environment in general and the work‚Ķ the teachers, the students, the activities, etc.¬†I love being involved with the school.¬†I enjoy all of my classes. The homework really annoys me sometimes, but I’m starting to get over it. The play is going really smoothly. I’ve been doing a great job and¬†I like that¬†I can make a difference. You guys should all go to see the odd couple! It’s going to be great! I’m on props team and I’m doing sound!¬†I also love building friendships with the teachers. All of them are such good people in so many ways and¬†I have a lot to learn from them.

The next two priorities are kind of combined. One is my thoughts on the world. The world being people and the connections between them. And the second being what I’m writing about it all. Writing on a topic of this generality is tough. I’m starting to organize my ideas, though. It’s going to be baby steps and I’m guessing it will be years before¬†I finish, so I’m going to stop talking about it to people. That’s another thing that I’m starting to get over. Letting everything out. Telling people what I’m thinking. There’s a time and place for that and¬†I need to learn it. That kind of leads me to my other priority (or more of a goal) right now which sums about all of it up.

All of these are very connected. I’m making great progress. College is going to accelerate me towards my initiation into the life that¬†I want to live.¬†I want to learn about people and understand them. Not through classes. It’s been said by many geniuses¬†that classes will dull your mind. This statement is incomplete. Classes will dull your mind, if and only if you soak in the information as fact and nothing more. You need to take it in and be creative with the ideas. You need to be able to think beyond what you’re learning and apply what you’re learning so that you can make a living.¬†I want my knowledge of the physicalities of the universe to unify with my knowledge of people.

Before¬†I get married, before¬†I have kids, before I’m ready to settle down and get a real world job,¬†I want to understand why¬†I should do all of these things.¬†I truly believe¬†I will be there one day. My idea of God is slowly soaking in. My idea of the universe is slowly sinking in. And my idea of people is slowly sinking in. Once these all connect,¬†I will know what needs to be done. That’s where your life is.¬†I want to live it to its fullest through all of this.¬†I like to hope everyone around me does, as well. But no one likes to think nearly as much as¬†I do.

So… I’m left alone. In a head of thick hair. Where no one really knows what’s going on inside of all of it. They all have an idea from different perspectives. But nobody understands the networking between everything.

On a lighter note, yesterday, I read about techniques for recording acoustic guitars. I decided to practice it in Hey Ya. I rerecorded it. I left the old one up so that you guys can see the difference.

I’m starting to develop a huge love for understanding why things are the way they are. I’ve thought a lot about the world today in terms of how Emerson talked about it in his writings. He believed that society was poisonous and that you can only learn about your life if you seclude yourself from the world and look at your life and investigate. I’m a firm believer in that and although there is an infinite amount of ways you can look at the world, this is the one that I though most about today.

The idea I came up with today is that there are two major characteristics you can find in everybody that are completely opposite. People get spun up in the world, but the potential for these two characteristics lies in all of us. I believe that some people were born with a love or maybe even a need to express themselves artistically as an output of energy. Then, there are others that love or maybe even need to soak in information and understand the world around them as an output of energy. To put it out into cognition. I believe that everyone has a unique potential in both but some love one or the other or both or none.

Like my friend Ryan Cline for instance. I don’t know about his artistic potential because I’ve never seen it, but he has a great understanding of the way things work… but he really doesn’t care how things work. He’s pursuing a career in the military, which I completely respect and support 100%. I, on the other hand, am completely satisfied by intense thinking sessions and reading non-fiction essays and things like that.

I’ve been reading about Gottfried Leibniz’s (A 17th century German mathematician and philosopher) ideas in metaphysics. Although it seems ridiculous that I’m a 17 year old kid reading into far more advanced material than I appear to fit into, I understand a lot of it. My reading skills are also¬†growing.

Leibniz is definitely one of my new found heroes. He was a philosopher that was really good at getting you to look at the¬†universe and relate it to a Christian view of God. He was most famous for taking to contradictory ideas, extracting all of the truth in them, and them relating them through the truths. He was actually majorly responsible for the Reparation of the Church. He was very open-minded, but he stood strong in his faith. I’ve been reading essays on websites about¬†his writings and I just asked my dad if he could buy his metaphysics book for me.

Metaphysics is a lot less scary than it sounds. I don’t think I’m superior for looking into and understanding what it is because it’s not that hard. I simply invest my time in things that I find more beneficial.¬†I’m trying to get a “jump start” into college, if you will.¬†Metaphysics is just as basic as it gets. It¬†talks about¬†ideas that have no deeper reasoning other than they just are. It also takes a lot of these ideas and puts them together to demonstrate how perfect harmony is found everywhere in the universe, thus showing that it is a miracle that things are the way they area.

I believe that I was born with a purpose. I want to make at least one break through in my college career. I have no idea if I’m smart enough, but I’m confident in myself and my ego is not spiraling out of control. I would accept if I wasn’t smart enough or maybe lucky enough to come up with a break through in science, but with the way I’m burning through Calculus and understanding all of this upper¬† level material in philosophy and physics feels like God is just waving¬†a flag¬†right in front of my face.

It’s been a good investigative two weeks or so. I’m really start to read a lot which is awesome. I feel good about it and enjoy it.

I recorded a kind of metal version of the Dance of the Sugar Plums today. That’s pretty neat. I had a lot of fun with it. The tone of the guitars is weak though. Once I get my metal zone petal working, it will sound a lot more crisp and cleaner.

I’ve been teaching myself Calculus. I have a whole new list of heroes because of it. I can’t wait for college. I’m going to major in pure mathematics. School is going great. I turned it my research paper this week. Let’s just say that if I don’t get an A, I’m going to throw a fit. All the other subjects are going okay, but I need to push myself a little more. I’m not falling behind, but I feel like I could be doing better.

Yesterday was one of the happiest days for me in a while. I went to the mall and hung out with my friend Megan. We had a really good time. I figured shopping with girls would be kind of awkward, but it’s Megan, so seeing her would be worth it. Well, it really wasn’t awkward at all. I didn’t feel like the¬†guy that was just kind of tagging along.¬†She’s such an awesome¬†girl. After that, I went home with Mike and Brant and we watched a movie. It was just generally a good day.

Today, I hung out with Drew for the majority of today. We got our hair cut, went shopping, checked out pants, wallets, and we got a Stravinsky CD. Igor Stravinsky was a genius.

Mikey-Doodle is over right now!!! He’s the best!

I got my pedal working! I redid the guitars in the Dance of the Sugar Plums. It sounds niiice.